


Mental ~Kuroken

by Nickoliz_B1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angry Yaku Morisuke, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Haiba Lev has ADHD, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kozume Kenma Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma has Bipolar Disorder, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroo Tetsurou-centric, Kyoutani Kentarou Swears, Kyoutani Kentarou has Anger Issues, M/M, Mental Institutions, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Nervous Yachi Hitoka, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, Series, Team Mom Yaku Morisuke, Yaku Morisuke is So Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25423387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1
Summary: Everyone is born different and no one is perfect.Some people have little imperfections that need to be treated in order to live a normal life.Kenma has the tiniest one of those.Kuroo is the one to help fix it.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 191





	1. ~New Nurse~

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I get some of the information wrong. I used a few different websites for research but if you have anything to add that I need to fix about the disorder please let me know. Thank you and enjoy!

We’ll have other workers on standby if you need help.” Kiyoko tells me. “Thank you.” I say and take the clipboard from her hand. I was recently assigned a new patient, one that had been here for a while. Most employees that have worked with him, we’re able to handle him so I am being sent as his new nurse. I read through his clipboard as I walk down the halls to find his room.

Patient name: Kenma Kozume  
Age: 18  
Birthday: October 16  
Gender: Male  
Illness: Bipolar Disorder  
Treatment: Mood stabilizers and Antidepressant-antipsychotic  
Other Treatments: Interpersonal and social rhythm therapy

The smaller details are farther down on the page with the times and more information. When I finally reach his room, I check the time. 8:28am. He needs to be waken up at 8:30 if not already awake. I look inside and the covers are thrown over the figure of a smaller person. I wait a minute before opening the door to wake him up. I go over to the window and open the blinds. The window is still sealed off so he can’t jump but it brings in some light. “Ugh.” the boy groans. I move his blankets a bit and whisper quietly, “Kozume-Kun, time to get up.” “Kenma.” the boy groans, pulling the blankets farther over him. I smile softly and poke and prod at the small boy. “Come on. Time to get up.” I whisper. I hear him finally sigh and then, he throws the blanket to the other side of the room. His hair is long and looks like a pudding head. He looks up at me and smiles. “You’re new. Did Yachi get fired?” he asks excitedly. Yachi was his old nurse but she couldn’t handle him. “She was given a new assignment.” I tell him. He huffs and frowns. “She was the worst. What’s your name?” he asks. “Kuroo Tetsurou.” I tell him and he smiles, “How long will you last?” “Time to shower.”

After making him shower, I get his morning pills ready with his breakfast. When he steps out, I had him a new white hospital gown. He puts it on and sits down onto his bed. His mood has changed from before. When he woke up, he was a bit...excited? It’s hard to explain his emotions but now he is more quiet. I hand him his food and pills. At first, he brushes it off but once I look away, he begins eating. So far, he hasn’t been too hard for me but it has only been an hour or so. “Do I have therapy today?” he asks. I shake my head and can hear him sigh. “Therapy is Thursday and Sundays.” I remind him. “What day is it?” he asks. I feel bad. He’s so young to already be in a psychiatric hospital. “It’s Tuesday.” I inform him. He continues eating and stays quiet after that. When he finishes eating, I can hear him writing on his mood tracker. He seems to be searching for a word but is unable to find it. His face lifts when he finally gets the word and writes it down before handing it to me. “All emotions from this morning.” he tells me. I read through the emotions. Most of them are normal until I get to a weirder one. Hanker Sore. I open my mouth to question it but I’ll ask Kiyoko about it later. 

I take Kenma for a walk around the ward. He wanted to get out of his room and I saw nothing wrong with that. He seems calmer but that may be because of his medicine from this morning. Once it fades, there’s no telling how he will act. “Do I get a call today?” he asks as we walk through the garden. “I’ll have to talk to Bokuto about it.” I tell him. “Bokuto is dumb. He never lets me get more than one call.” Kenma complains puffing his cheeks. “Bokuto is doing what he’s told.” I tell him. He frowns and slows his walking. “I want to talk to my friend.” he says. I nod and frown. The poor boy probably hasn’t seen his friend in forever. “I’ll see if I can get you that call.” I tell him. His eyes light up and he smiles, “You’re much better than Yachi or Terushima.” I smile back and we continue on our way around. 

After lots of begging and talking to Kiyoko, I managed to get Kenma some extra time talking with his friend. Bokuto told me he always calls the same person. Their name is Shoyo Hinata and everyone assumes he lost his family because he only ever talks to him. There isn’t much about Kenma on his clipboard. We have the normal stuff but when it comes to personal stuff, only his therapist knows and he doesn’t speak of it. I wait outside as Kenma makes his call with Hinata. They have a normal conversation and most of it is just checking up on each other. Kenma doesn’t talk a lot probably because he doesn’t have much to do or talk about. He still seems happy though when he listens to Hinata. I can feel myself smiling a bit as I watch and when Kenma laughs my stomach does flips. Kenma is adorable and definitely my type but he’s my patient. If he gets out of the ward then it wouldn’t be as weird but if he’s still here… it would just be weird. 

The call ends and we continue our day with the regular medications. There is only a short hour that Kenma will be without that medication. That’s the worst hour for most of his nurses. When we get to that time, I take Kenma back to his room and make him sit on his bed. His mood goes to a major low when he medication fails. “Can you talk about it?” I ask. Kenma shakes his head and lays back on his bed. I go over and grab the blanket he threw earlier in the day. I put the blanket over him and Kenma opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out. His adams apple bobs as tears form in his eyes. “Why are you sad?” I ask him. He shrugs and the tears start falling. I feel bad that he can’t control these feelings. Well it’s not that he can’t control them. Bipolar disorder isn’t like sociopaths or psychopaths. It’s when your emotions are over amplified. So each low is super low and each high is super high. He has first degree bipolar disorder. This type goes super high and super low. The lows and highs last shortly and change quickly. It’s not a matter of hours but days. When he’s on this medicine though, it’s hard to tell what emotion it will be. Kenma points to a box next to his bed so I get up to go through it. Inside the box is a small stuffed cat. I grab it out and he takes it immediately, hugging it close. The next hour feels like forever, just sitting and waiting for Kenma to start feeling better. 

When Kenma is able to take his next medication, I start preparing Kenma for bed. “Can I play a video game?” Kenma asks once he’s changed for bed. “I’m not sure…” Kenma frowns and gives me puppy dog eyes. If he wasn’t my patient, I would buy him the whole gamestop right now. “I’ll ask Kiyoko.” I tell him. He smiles and sits down on his bed. “I haven’t played a game in forever. Shoyo is probably better than me now.” he tells me. I frown and text Kiyoko quickly. “Were you a gamer before you came here?” I ask him. He nods and goes on about his games and his wins. I smile and listen until my phone rings. ‘I’m not buying him some. You’re his nurse so you do what’s best for him.’ Kiyoko responds. I smile and Kenma tilts his head. “What game do you want to play on my phone?” I ask. 

After 30 minutes of gaming, I have to take my phone away to put Kenma to bed. “You aren’t too bad of a nurse, Tetsurou-Kun.” Kenma tells me. I smile and tuck him into bed before leaving the room. I even let him call me Tetsurou. When I leave his room, I bring his mood tracker to Kiyoko to read. She looks it over and starts laughing when she reads hanker sore. “Wait! What does that mean?” I yell and she keeps laughing. “Google it when you get home.” she tells me and lets me sign out for the night. I frown and start making my way home after signing out. I stop by a store to buy Kenma a few games and when I get home, I finally google the meaning of hanker sore. My face turns red as I read it and I swear to god I’m going to kill everyone at that hospital who sees it. 

Hanker Sore. Adj. Finding a person so attractive it actually kinda pisses you off.


	2. ~Friends~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course. 
> 
> They make me watch the one with ADHD and Bipolar.
> 
> I sigh and nod. “I’ll watch him."

After the first week of working with Kenma, things are starting to get easier. Kenma is actually okay with me, surprisingly. He doesn’t like a lot of people and doesn’t want a lot of attention to I try to work alone with him. He seems calmer that way. He still is one moody child, whether it’s because of his disorder or just being a teenager. I can’t be saying much though. I’m not much older than him. Today was a bit different though. 

“Kuroo! I need you!” Kiyoko calls. She sits at a table with Iwaizumi and Yamaguchi. They have one open seat so I take it. “What’s up Kiyoko?” I ask. Instead of responding, Kiyoko nudges Iwaizumi. “I’m going out of town with my boyfriend for the weekend. I’ll need someone to watch Haiba.” he tells me. Of course. They make me watch the one with ADHD and Bipolar. “I will help when I can!” Yamaguchi says when he sees my expression. “Kenma doesn’t like people.” I tell them. “He likes you.” Kiyoko replies and I frown. “Haiba isn’t that hard to watch. His friend stops by often so he will probably keep him company. Or just let Kenma meet Haiba, maybe they will get along.” Iwaizumi begs me. I sigh and nod. “I’ll watch him. Just give me his clipboard before you leave.” I tell him. He smiles and nods, “Thank you! If I didn’t go Tooru would’ve killed me! I’ll make it up to you!” Iwaizumi tells me. I smile and nod. The clock turns to 8:27 so I get up quickly. “See you at lunch!” Yamaguchi calls to me. I wave goodbye and make my way to Kenma’s room. 

When I get to Kenma’s room, Kenma is sitting up on his bed. He looks terrible. He stares at the corner of the room and doesn’t even see me through the door window. I open the door slowly but he still gets startled. He yelps and throws his blankets over himself. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s me. It’s Kuro.” I whisper walking over to his bed. He slowly pulls down the blankets and stares at me. “Are you real?” he asks. I frown and shake my head. “I’m real.” I say putting my hand out to him. He takes it and breathes in to steady his breathing. “Bad night?” I ask sitting down on the end of his bed. He nods and moves to sit next to me. “I saw something. In the corner of my room.” I look over to where he points but nothing is there. “What was there?” I ask and he gulps. “A person.” I sigh and put an arm around him. “Nothing is there now. Don’t worry.” I tell him. He nods and rubs his eyes. “Can you shower?” I ask him. He nods and gets up slowly to shower. 

Today will be a weird day to bring him to see Haiba. He’s having a depressive episode so he won’t be his fun self today. When he gets out of the shower, he makes his way back to his bed. “Don’t you want to go for a walk? Like we do most mornings?” I ask. He shrugs and lays back on his bed. “Well what about gaming?” I ask. His eyes shine but he doesn’t move. “I can’t.” he says. I frown and sit next to him. “Why not?” I ask. He shrugs again and closes his eyes. This isn’t good. “Why don’t we go out for a bit? Just you and me?” I ask him. He opens his eyes and turns his head to look at me. “I don’t think I can move.” he tells me. “Can I help you up?” I ask him. He sits for a minute before nodding. I move my arm around him and help him up so he’s standing towards my chest. “You good?” I ask looking down at him. He nods slowly, not looking at me. I help him out of the room but make sure I’m not going too fast. I need to chart this down for this weeks episode. 

When I walked with him, nothing seemed to entertain him. Not even his games. He wouldn’t choose what to eat and wouldn’t decide on anything. I took him to his therapist at 4 like normal. He talked for a bit longer today though. His therapist doesn’t show us what Kenma doesn’t want us to see. He knows what he’s doing though. We trust him. When Kenma comes out I get ready to leave with him but Tsukishima pulls me back. “He wanted you to read what he said today.” he says handing me his paper. I open my mouth to question but he knows what I’m going to say, “Just you.” I nod and read over the paper as I follow Kenma down the halls. There were a few words underlined. Empty. Alone. Worthless. Pâro. Death. I suck in a breathe reading death. I haven’t known Kenma long but he means a lot to me. He’s my patient after all but he’s also my friend. 

After dinner, we make our way back to Kenma’s room. “Can we meet someone today?” I ask when we get there. “Who?” he asks. “Haiba.” “Lev?” I tilt my head and Kenma half smiles, “I already know him, stupid.” I turn red and nod, “I knew that.” “We went to school together. He’s a year younger than me.” he tells me. “I need to watch both of you this weekend. Are you okay with that?” I ask him. He shrugs, “I can’t tell you yet. It depends on my mood that day. I hope I will be though.” I nod and pace around the room. “Wait? Why didn’t Iwaizumi tell me you guys knew each other?” I ask him. I can hear his small giggle and a sigh, “Guess you didn’t fully read my clipboard.” I gasp and Kenma giggles more. I smile as he sits back on his bed breathing a bit heavy from the laughing. “You tired yet?” I ask him. Kenma nods and lays back on his bed. “I can leave then and you can sleep.” I tell him. “Can you sit here until I fall asleep?” Kenma asks me. I nod and sit on the side of his bed. He snuggles up under his covers and closes his eyes to sleep. “Goodnight Kuro.” “Goodnight Kenma.”

The next few days are slow. It seems slower when Kenma is in a depressive episode. When we get to the weekend though, his mood changes. It’s not a manic episode but not a depressive episode either. It’s a bit of both. When we get Kenma all ready for the day, I take him to meet Yamaguchi and Haiba or Lev. “I get to hang out with Kenma-San? All day? YAYYYY!” some screams down the hall. I can tell it’s Haiba right away. “Kenma-San!” When we turn the corner a tall boy with silver hair runs up to Kenma. “Hey! Give him space!” someone yells from behind him and kicks him. “Oww!” Haiba moves off Kenma and Yamaguchi can be seen with a small figure next to him. “Hello, sorry about him. I’m Yaku Morisuke.” the small boy says holding out a hand. I take it and smile, “Kuroo Tetsurou.” Lev smiles and waves, “Call me Lev!” he says. I nod and Yamaguchi looks worried. “Don’t worry Yams, you go to work or go hang with Tsukishima. I should be good.” I reassure him. He tilts his head and I nod, ‘Go!” I tell him and he smiles and skips off in the direction of Tsukishima’s office. “What are they allowed to do?” Yaku asks. I hand him Lev’s clipboard and he reads it over. “Okay, let’s go for a walk to tire him out.” Yaku tells me. I nod and Yaku takes Lev’s hand to lead him outside. 

Kenma stands behind them with me as we walk around the garden. He takes his time looking at all the flowers and admiring the outside world. Lev is very fidgety as we walk and walks faster than us but Yaku helps keep him calm. It's nice to see a friend that can help him like that. Lev suddenly stops and Yaku starts bugging him to leave it be. I look over Yaku to see a small cat in the pathway. “Excuse me!” I say pushing through them. I carefully pick up the cat and look for a collar. “No collar. I’ll check if there is a chip later.” I tell them. I look over and see Kenma staring at the cat with the biggest eyes. “Do you like cats, Kenma?” I ask. Kenma nods quickly and I smile. “Here, she’s nice.” I say sitting down with the cat. Kenma walks over and sits down across from me to pet the cat. I know a normal nurse would shoo the cat off but I’m pretty fond of cats and a neighborhood is nearby so it might have a home nearby. Kenma smiles as the cat purrs at his touch. “What will you do if she doesn’t have an owner?” Kenma asks me. I can see the look in his eyes so I give him what he wants, “I might keep her or when you get out, you can keep her.” He smiles at my anwser and Lev pouts, “Yaku-san! Get me a cat!” he demands. “Not when you act like this!” Yaku tells him, hitting him lightly on the head. “Let’s get inside. I’ll let Yams watch the cat until I’m done with my shift.” I tell them and we make our way inside. 

After the encounter with the cat, the day goes by faster. Lunch comes quickly and therapy follows. I send Kenma in with Tsukishima and Lev goes in with Ennoshita. After therapy, dinner goes by and then we prepare for bed. Yams takes Lev back to take care of bedtime so I take the cat back and help Kenma. “Can I have the cat sit in my lap?” Kenma asks, sitting on his bed. I nod and hand him the cat. Kenma acts like the cat is glass and if he drops her, she will break. It’s adorable the way he acts with her. He smiles as the cat sits on his lap and purrs. She turns over and starts playing with his sleeve. Kenma giggles and I smile watching the scene. Everything Kenma does is adorable. Kenma catches me staring and pretends he didn’t see. The red on his ears and cheeks say differently though. My ears turn red too but I pretend I don’t know. “We only have a few more minutes before bed. No gaming tonight?” I ask. Kenma shakes his head, “I’d take playing with a cat over any game.” I smile and the few minutes feel like forever. Sadly, when they are over, I have to take the cat away from Kenma. “See you tomorrow.” I tell Kenma as I prepare to step out. “Goodnight Kuro.” “Goodnight Kenma.”

When I get out of work, I go straight to the vet. I take the cat in and get her scanned for a chip. The vet comes back with news that she does in fact have a chip. They give me the owners information and I’m able to drop the cat off at her rightful home. When I dropped her off though, a brilliant thought came to my head. Kenma’s birthday is in 4 months. Kenma is scheduled to be released in 6 months. For his birthday, I will get him a kitten and although it will be a few months late, he will love it. I know he will. I smile to myself as I search the web the rest of the night searching for kittens nearby. 

Pâro: n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—that any attempt to make your way comfortably through the world will only end up crossing some invisible taboo—as if there’s some obvious way forward that everybody else can see but you, each of them leaning back in their chair and calling out helpfully, colder, colder, colder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If I got anything wrong about the disorder please let me know!


	3. ~Sunshine~

It’s been almost a month of being Kenma’s nurse. I’ve dealt with his manic and depressive episodes so I know what to expect for the most part now. Today is one of his manic episodes. It isn’t too hard until he starts getting horny or talks too fast and wants to do too many things at once. Today should be different though. Today his best friend is coming to visit. I’ve never met this best friend but I’ve heard a lot about. Apparently he’s the sun. His name is Hinata Shouyou. Today he is going to stop by to check on Kenma. I can’t wait to meet this sunshine. I only hope he isn’t anything more than a friend. I mean, it’s not like I like Kenma. I just think he should have a best friend and a lover. Maybe keep them different people. I don’t care. 

“When does Shouyou get here?” Kenma asks bouncing on his bed. “Soon, and sit down or you will break that bed.” I tell him. “You can do that for me later,” Kenma says and winks. I facepalm and we hear a knock at the door. I open the door to find a small orange boy. I knew he was shorter than Kenma but wowwwww. He’s short. “Hey, come in.” I say moving to the side. “Thank you, Kuroo. Oh! I hope it’s okay to call you that! Kenma told me that’s what he calls you and he’s told me so much that I feel like I already know you, ya know?” he blabers. I sigh and put a hand on the shorty’s head, “It’s fine. Go see your bestie.” He smiles and I realize why Kenma calls him the sun. He’s actually the sun. He moves around me and runs up to Kenma. “Shouyou!” Kenma yells jumping off the bed. “Kenma!” They hug and Kenma smiles. It’s a genuine smile. A rare sight. “I have so much to tell you!” Hinata tells him. Kenma sits them both on the bed and waits for Hinata to spill. 

When I say Hinata talks a lot, I mean A LOT. I swear, this kid has no chill. It’s hard to understand what he was saying but from what I got, there is this guy named Kageyama who Hinata hates. They are teammates at school. They play volleyball. They fight a lot. They got into a really big fight. Hinata feels really sad and wants to be friends again (I thought they hated each other). Kenma says to confess (I don’t even know). Hinata refuses and says Kageyama doesn’t feel the same (this relationship with this Kageyama person is so confusing). Kenma thinks he does (or as Kenma said, he knows he does). And yeah now they are going on and on about how Hinata’s team is doing. “Kenma, time for lunch.” I tell him. We get up and head to the cafeteria. Hinata is still talking, of course, but they walk behind me so it’s harder for me to hear them. When we get there, I get Kenma his food and pills. Hinata brought his own lunch so he doesn’t need me to get anything. Kenma is a little brat and won’t swallow his pills unless I give him pudding with it so I make sure to grab a pudding. I hand him his food and sit a ways away to eat my lunch with my coworkers. “Kenma seems to really enjoy that friend of his.” Iwaizumi comments. I huff and nod, “Yeah, they know like everything about each other.” “Aw, don’t get too jealous, Kuroo. They keep glancing over at you and Hinata seems to be making jokes about you.” Yamaguchi tells me. “What makes you think that?” I ask and Kiyoko answers for him, “They look over at you, Hinata whispers something in Kenma’s ear, Kenma gets super red and looks away.” I feel my ears turn red so I turn around to check. Kenma is in fact very red and Hinata is laughing at him. “He’s my patient.” I tell them. Kiyoko shrugs, “He gets out in a few months. Once he’s out, there’s nothing wrong with you seeing him.” I nod and sigh. 

The rest of the day goes by fast. I don’t talk much to Kenma today. He’s so invested in Hinata, it’s like I’m not even here. “I got to get going, Kenma. I had fun today and I’ve missed you.” Hinata says. It’s about 5 so we need to start getting ready for bed anyways. “I’ve missed you too, Shouyou. Thank you for coming today.” Kenma says giving Hinata a goodbye hug. “I’ll tell you how it goes with Kageyama the next time we meet or call.” Hinata says when the pull away. “Please. Goodluck with that.” Kenma sits on his bed and we watch as Hinata leaves. Kenma sighs when he leaves the room and lays back on his bed. “What’s up.” I ask and Kenma sighs again. “You know that feeling… Gnossienne?” Kenma asks. I tilt my head and he sighs, “I guess I just find it weird that even though I’ve known Hinata for so long, he still has an inner life I don’t know about. I just wish I knew everything.” he explains. I nod, “I get that.” He sits up and gestures for me to sit next to him. “Are you still in a manic episode?” I ask and he shakes his head, “I’m not trying to seduce you, no.” I move and take the seat next to him. We sit for a minute before Kenma starts smirking. “What are you thinking?” I ask and Kenma giggles. “You were jealous today.” he tells me. I widen my eyes and shake my head rapidly, “Why would I be jealous? You are my patient.” Kenma giggles and turns towards me, “I saw you glancing at me. I heard my name in that conversation with your friends. You looked at me and Hinata weirdly,” Kenma lists, “You. Were. Jealous.” I shake my head and I cover my face with my hands as Kenma laughs. When I move my hands, Kenma stops laughing. He gets close to me and whispers in my ear, “Don’t be jealous. I don’t like him. I’ll tell you who I like when I get out of here.” I shudder as he moves away from me and giggles. “Alright, bed time!” I say getting up quickly before I start dying on the spot. “Thank you for today.” Kenma says as I prepare him for bed. I smile and nod, “Of course. I wouldn’t be a good nurse if I did otherwise.” I get him into bed and tuck him under. “Goodnight Kuro.” “Goodnight Kenma.”

After heading out, I head to a house almost an hour from mine. I knock and a small girl answers. “Ah! Kiyoko! He’s here!” Yachi yells. Kiyoko comes to the door holding the small kitten. It’s a small calico cat. “She can’t leave her mother yet but this is her. Is she good?” Kiyoko asks. I nod and pat the small cat’s head. “She’s perfect.” 

Gnossienne: n. a moment of awareness that someone you’ve known for years still has a private and mysterious inner life, and somewhere in the hallways of their personality is a door locked from the inside, a stairway leading to a wing of the house that you’ve never fully explored—an unfinished attic that will remain maddeningly unknowable to you, because ultimately neither of you has a map, or a master key, or any way of knowing exactly where you stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If I got anything wrong about the disorder, please let me know!


	4. ~Newcomers~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why the hell are you so loud at 8:20 in the morning! I had 10 more minutes!"
> 
> "Shut the fuck up! I do what I want!"

It’s been 2 months of being Kenma’s nurse. I know pretty much everything about him. He lets me hear about his therapy sessions and talk to me about things. I can handle his episodes pretty well but he still goes manic every once and a while. Kenma is only a few months away from being free of this place. I got sick one week and Yachi had to fill in for me. He almost choked her but Iwaizumi was there and got him settled down. We don’t know why he hates Yachi so much but we hope it doesn’t affect his time being held here. 

By now, the routine is pretty normal. Get to work at 7:30, talk with coworkers, head to Kenma’s room, wake him up. It’s practically drilled into my memory. Today though, we were having someone come to talk Tsukishima. They don’t live here like the other patients, though. He lives a bit away and his boyfriend is making him come to see if he needs to be put here. Apparently he hates his doctor so he refuses to go there. Iwaizumi claims to know him because they went to the same high school. Iwaizumi said he had some issues but he hadn’t seen the worst of them. If anything, his boyfriend was the only one that had seen the worst part of him. As I make my way to Kenma’s room, I can already hear yelling. 

“Why the hell are you so loud at 8:20 in the morning! I had 10 more minutes!” a familiar voice yells. “Shut the fuck up. I do what I want!” a new voice yells. I can hear their growls and snarls and when I turn the corner I see the scene unfold. Kenma walks up to a man much taller than him and slaps him. “If you’re not a patient here then get the fuck out.” Kenma growls. The taller man clenches his teeth and balls his hands into fists. He raises his fist and I start running, “Stop!” I yell. The man looks over at me but doesn’t listen. He turns back to Kenma and just when I think I won’t make it, someone calls for him. “Kentaro Kyoutani.” We all turn to see a boy standing angrily at the end of the hall. “I go to get you a milk and you get into a fight with a patient. Good job. This will definitely convince them to let you stay at home.” he says sarcastically walking over. Kyoutani looks down and mutters an apology. I run to Kenma and grab him, pulling him away from Kyoutani. “What the hell Kenma? I wasn’t going to make it in time. If he didn’t come you would probably be passed out and concussed. What were you thinking?” I yell. Kenma shrugs, “I was tired.” I sigh and shake my head. I keep Kenma behind me and turn to Kyoutani and his friend. “I’m guessing you guys are here to see if you need to stay.” I ask and the other nods. “I’m Yahaba. I’m sorry about the dumbass here. He already has some medication but I’m not sure it helps much.” he tells me. “Anger management?” I ask. They nod, “some others too but Kyoutani has anger management the worst.” I nod and move Kenma next to me. “I’m Kuroo and this is Kenma.” I introduce us. “Kozume.” Kenma tells them. Before our conversation can go any longer, Tsukishima comes down the hall. “There you are. Come to my office please.” he says to them. “Nice to meet you.” Yahaba says walking away. I nod and take Kenma back into his room. 

“I thought everyone called you Kenma?” I ask once we get to his room. “My given name is Kenma. Only people special to me have permission to use that name.” Kenma tells me, sitting back on his bed. I ignore the fact that I’m special and sit down on my chair. “Can I have 10 more minutes?” Kenma asks. I nod and help Kenma back into bed. I watch as he cozies up and his breath beings steadying. I change the 10 minutes to 30 just to give him some actual sleep. 

When we are ready for the day, we head out to eat lunch. 30 minutes was a lie. He just looked so cute and I couldn’t wake him. It doesn’t matter now anyways. We make our way to lunch and I get Kenma his normal food and pills. He hasn’t been extremely moody today, only when he was tired. A lot of people have noticed his improvements since Yachi was his nurse. When I hand Kenma his lunch, a loud scream can be heard down the hall. “I’m not staying here! You can’t make me!” “You need this!” “I don’t care! If it means I won’t be seeing you everyday it’s not worth it!” “Please! I need you to get better!” “No!” A loud crash can be heard and Kyoutani walks into the lunch room. He looks around before walking into another hallway, probably on his way out. Shortly after he leaves, Yahaba comes in looking scared. “Where did he go?” he asks. I point to the hallway and he runs yelling, “Sorry about the vase!” I sigh and go to check in the hall. The vase is on the floor shattered and the flowers are scattered around it. I head back to the cafeteria to grab a broom but Kenma is already standing holding it. “Here.” he says handing me the broom. I take it and go to clean up the mess. Kenma follows me and watches as I clean the broken vase. When I finish we head back to Kenma’s room to play some video games. 

In the middle of a round of mario cart, Iwaizumi texts me. I check it and Kenma throws a turtle shell at me when I’m not looking. ‘Come to the office. We will have someone watch Kenma.’ it says. I sigh and put down my remote. “I’ll be back in a bit.” I tell him. He pouts and crosses his arms. “I’m sorry. If this wasn’t my job I would drop everything and stay but I have to.” I tell him. He sighs and waves me out. I smile and let myself out of the room. I make my way to the office. When I walk in, Iwaizumi is sitting down with Yahaba and Kyoutani. “What’s up?” I ask sitting in the seat next to Iwaizumi. “Kyoutani is okay with being held here for a bit. I will be watching him parttime and we were wondering if you could do the other half.” Iwaizumi explains. I look confused at Yahaba. Last I checked Kyoutani didn’t want to be here. “It’s only for a week for now. If it doesn’t help at all then we will do longer.” Yahaba tells me. “Kenma likes me to be there all the time.” I tell them. “Yet, you leave once he falls asleep.” Iwaizumi says. “That’s because I have to go home every once and a while.” I snap back. “We can find a part timer for Kenma.” Iwaizumi says. “Who?” Iwaizumi opens his mouth to answer but the doors are slammed open. “Hey hey hey! I got him!” Bokuto yells walking in holding the hand of some new employee. “Perfect timing, Bokuto! Kuroo, this is Akaashi. He’s a new employee.” Iwaizumi introduces us. I hold out my hand and he shakes it. “Are you sure you can handle him?” I ask Akaashi. He nods, “He can’t be worse then Bokuto-san.” Bokuto gasps and I laugh. “I’ll introduce you to him.” I tell Akaashi and he smiles. 

The meeting goes a bit longer before we are dismissed. “Can I come meet Kozume now?” Akaashi asks. I nod and take him down the hall with me to Kenma’s room. “So you know Bokuto well?” I ask. Akaashi smiles and shrugs, “You could say that.” We make it Kenma’s room and Kenma is now playing animal crossing on my Switch. “Hey Kenma! I brought someone.” I say opening the door. Kenma glances up before going straight back to his game. “Kenma, this is Akaashi. He will be working with you part time.” I tell him. Kenma pauses the game now. “No, you watch me full time.” he says. I sigh and sit down on Kenma’s bed, “I’m going to have to do part time for a little bit but Akaashi will watch you the other half I’m gone.” I tell him and he huffs. “No.” “Hey, Kozume. I’m Akaashi. I don’t think you remember me.” Akaashi says stepping closer. Kenma looks him up and down. “Bo’s boy toy?” Kenma asks and Akaashi turns red. “He was more of my toy.” Akaashi tells him. Kenma laughs and nods, “you had him around your little finger at school.” Akaashi laughs with him and I glance at Kenma to explain. “Ah, Keiji went to school with me. He’s the reason I knew Bokuto before I got here. In fact, Bokuto was the one who asked me to come here.” Kenma explains. I’m a bit jealous Kenma knew so many of my coworkers before he knew me. He’s known some of them for a long time and it makes me jealous. Why couldn’t I have met him before this? “So will you be okay with him working with you part time?” I ask. “Nope.” Kenma replies. My face drops and so does Akaashi’s. “But you like Akaashi?” I ask and he nods, “I like Akaashi but I only want you to be working with me. Sorry. Just make Akaashi work that part time job for you. It’d make it easier.” Kenma tells us. I sigh and nod. “Bedtime,” I say taking away his electronics. He doesn’t look sad like usual when I take them away. He’s smug because we can’t argue with him. It would still work if Akaashi took that job but Kyoutani wanted me. We step out of the room and I sigh, “Sorry about him. I’ll call in to talk with Kiyoko tomorrow to tell her.” Akaashi nods and smiles, “It’s alright. I knew he wouldn’t want me working with him.” I open my mouth to question but Bokuto comes in. “Ready to go Akaaaagshi?” he asks. Akaashi nods and waves goodbye. I watch as they walk away and start making my way home too. 

When I get home I text Kiyoko about a meeting. She responds quickly and gives me a time. I have to get to work a bit earlier now but it’s okay. Bokuto texts me Akaashi’s number in case Akaashi does end up working with Kenma. I shoot him a quick text but I don’t ask about his past with Kenma. I’m jealous so many of them had a past with him. Ever since I met Kenma, I haven’t gotten him out of my mind. It doesn’t have to be a romantic thing, it’s just that I always think about us. Whenever I see him, I get this thrill. It’s like a flame inside my being lit up. I wish I had known him before this. I wish I knew everything about him already. I wish it was easier to get to know people. I wish I really, truly knew him so I could tell him how I felt and him feel the same. 

Adronitis: n. frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—spending the first few weeks chatting in their psychological entryway, with each subsequent conversation like entering a different anteroom, each a little closer to the center of the house—wishing instead that you could start there and work your way out, exchanging your deepest secrets first, before easing into casualness, until you’ve built up enough mystery over the years to ask them where they’re from, and what they do for a living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	5. ~Part Time~

Today would be my first day working with Kyoutani. Kenma had requested I work the later shift with him so I have to go to Kyoutani first thing. I do my normal morning meetings before heading off to Kyoutani’s room. His boyfriend had promised to visit at least twice throughout the week. He didn’t give certain days just said at the least two days in the week. When I got to Kyoutani’s room, he was already up. It looked like he had already showered too. “Good morning.” I say, letting myself in. He acknowledges me but doesn’t say anything. “Why did you wake up so early?” I ask and he sighs, “I normally go on a morning run.” I write it down on my notes for a morning run. “We can start doing that. Most patients don’t request morning runs but we can work with that.” I tell him. He nods and hands me his dirty clothes. “Can we go eat yet?” he asks. I open the door for him and follow him out to get breakfast. He eats a relatively big meal compared to Kenma. He is a lot bigger so it would make sense. Kenma has a small appetite but Kyoutani seems to have an appetite as big as him. It’s healthy though. I write down that he eats a normal amount for his age and weight. Kenma still needs to work on his eating habits but it’s a good thing for Kyoutani to have good eating habits. As Kyoutani finishes eating, Kenma and Akaashi make their way out to eat. Kenma looks more tired then usual and he has a frown on his face. Akaashi is trying to cheer him up and is getting his food. I notice Akaashi doesn’t grab a pudding so I grab one for him. I walk over and hand it to Akaashi. “He won’t swallow his pills without this.” I say and walk away. Akaashi thanks me as I make my way out with Kyoutani. 

Kyoutani does a lot of working out. He is very athletic and strong so it would make sense. It’s bad because of his anger management though. I don’t want him to get mad at me because I know that no matter how big I am, he could easily snap me in half. Kenma was much easier and I didn't have to worry about this stuff with him. Then again, making Kenma mad was really bad too. The last time he got mad at me he almost twisted my arm all the way to the other side of my body. After Kyoutani's workout we make our way to his morning therapy session. Kyoutani will have more sessions then Kenma because his deal is a quick one to handle. I sit outside like normal and scroll through my phone. I'm completely out of storage due to Kenma's video games and my message app for work. Iwaizumi seems to be on his break too because his boyfriend is using his phone to spam the work group message. He'll get smacked for that. After a quick 30 minute session, Kyoutani comes out looking very fed up. I open my mouth and he puts up a hand before continuing to walk away. Tsuki shrugs and so I follow behind Kyoutani. We head to the lunch room and he sits down at his own table. "Is it Iwaizumi's turn to work with me yet?" he asks. I check the time and smile, "Only 2 more minutes then we can switch." He huffs and waits at the table for me to get him food. He's very impatient. We wait for Iwaizumi to show up and watch as others come in to eat. 

Iwaizumi shows up shortly and I am finally freed to go see Kenma. Kenma hasn't come in for lunch yet which is normal. He has social anxiety so he always goes later so he doesn't have to eat in front of others. The cafeteria nurses always make sure to leave out stuff for him to eat and reheat it for him. I head to his room and it's empty. Kenma doesn't like walks most of the time but my guess is he went to the garden. I sit in his room to wait. Normally, I would go interrupt but I think he might like working with Akaashi so I'll let him take his time. That time isn't a lot though. I sit in the room for a good 5 minutes before I hear Kenma in the halls complaining. "Is it Kuro's turn yet?" "Yes, he's probably waiting in your room." "Fucking finally." Kenma throws the door open and smiles when he sees me. "About time." he says. He walks over and places himself in my lap and hugs me. "It's only been a few hours." I tell him, petting his hair. "Don't care." he mutters. Akaashi laughs at the scene and excuses himself to go to his other works. "Thank you!" I call as he leaves and he nods before closing the door. "So do you like Akaashi?" I ask. Kenma hums so I take it as a yes. "Are you going to be okay with this for the next week?" I ask him. He sighs and reluctantly nods. I smile and ruffle his hair, "Good." The rest of our day goes by normal although Kenma is a bit more clingy now. It could be hormones or maybe an episode but I can't tell. I write it down just in case too. 

The week goes by fast. Not much change has occured in my opinion but Tsuki passes him off. His boyfriend came every once and a while to visit but never while I was working with him. Everything seemed to be going great. Kyoutani was going to get to be released. Kenma got me back at full time. Iwaizumi got his patient back full time. Akaashi was finally ready to work with his own patient. Now we were just waiting for Kiyoko. Our monthly meeting was supposed to have started 10 minutes ago and Kiyoko is never late. "Do you want me to text her?" Yachi asks. "Let's all text her." Akaashi suggests. We all text her but no responses. It's another 20 minutes before Kiyoko bursts into the room. "Kiyoko why are you late?" Yachi asks. Iwaizumi nods and we all turn confused. Kiyoko seems to have been running and is tired out so she breaths in one big breath before answering, "I was talking to the boss and I have some bad news. . . someone is being fired." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!


	6. ~Fired~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course. 
> 
> Great.
> 
> Just great!
> 
> Fired! 
> 
> Great!
> 
> Amazing!

  
  
  
**?? POV**

Of course. Great. Just great. Fired. Great! Amazing! Goodbye job! Goodbye livelihood! Goodbye life!!   
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Kenma’s POV**

Late. LAte. LATe. LATE. It is now 8:31 and Kuro is not here. He is always here at exactly 8:30. Now normally, I am asleep at this time but today the boss came in and someone was terminated. My fear is that it may be Kuroo. He’s the best nurse here though! Like why would you fire him when you could fire that loser Bokuto! Or even Yachi! Or Terushima. Actually, I take the first two back, Terushima is the worst. And now it’s 8:32. Great. 

> 8:33

> 8:34

> 8:35

> 8:36

> 8:37

> 8:38

“Kenma! I’m so sorry! I’m really sorry!” the door slams open andddddd it’s not Kuro. “Who the fuck are you?” 

  
  
  
  


**Kuroo’s POV**

I love myself so much. Kiyoko is a queen and I love her. I was given the day off so a new student could work with Kenma. Now, Kenma knows someone was getting fired. I’m sure he can guess who it was (We will all miss Terushima. If he hadn’t flirted with the boss at that one faculty meeting I’m sure she would’ve felt differently about keeping him). But he doesn’t know for sure. We told the student to not say anything and to tell Kenma he was working with him for the day as a student. He will not mention me and act like he doesn’t know me. If this goes right, Kenma will think I’m fired and I can finally get back at him for texting my mom and telling her that I was moving to the states. He’s not the most creative but my mom believed him and came to my house that night to slap some sense into me. I might not be working with Kenma today but I was given permission to watch on the cameras to see how this goes. I will eventually tell him I wasn’t fired but I want to see how he reacts. 

  
  
  


**Kenma’s POV**

“Who the fuck are you?” “Uh I’m a new student and I’ll be working with you for today.” I push myself up on my bed and the time is 8:40. “Where is Kuroo? I will only work with Kuro.” I tell the student. “I’m sorry. I didn’t meet a Kuro while I was being shown around.” If this is some joke I swear to god. “Was he your last nurse?” they ask. “No he IS my nurse.” I tell him. The boy seems nervous and troubled. They wouldn’t have sent someone like this to work with me unless they really didn’t have Kuroo. But there is no way. There’s no way. “I usually sleep until 10.” I tell the boy. He frowns and looks back on his clipboard. “It says here to wake you up at 8:30.” he says. “My old nurse let me sleep until 10.” I tell him. He looks scared and I smile innocently. If he. . . “Okay, I’ll be back at 10.” the boy says and steps out of the room. I sigh and lay back on my bed. “What the fuck are you doing Kuro?” I whisper to myself before laying down to go to bed. 

  
  
  


“Time to wake up!” someone calls. I open my eyes as the small nurse opens the windows. “You need to shower and then we can go for a walk.” the nurse tells me. I rub my eyes and the nurse is still there. I would’ve thought this dream would be over by now. Maybe it’s longer than I thought. Or maybe I’m hallucinating. That’d be cool. I get up and grab the clothes on my bedside before getting into the shower. I make sure to take as long a shower I can. If I’m lucky by the time I finish, it should be lunch time. 

When I’m done it’s only 11 so I have to go for a walk before eating. The nurse gives me my pills that I was supposed to take with breakfast. Sadly, they don’t give me my pudding to eat with the pills. I can dry swallow them. I’ve done it before. I just prefer to have pudding with them. It makes it easier. Kuroo would know that. I sigh and walk down the halls slowly. I really hope I wake up from this dream soon. Or maybe, Kuroo will jump out of a bush and be like “Surprise! I’m still here!” Even that would be better than working with this idiot for the rest of my time here. No offense to the nurse (I don’t even know his name) I just don’t feel like he’s as good as Kuroo. I mean, he let me sleep until 10. Kuroo only lets me do that on Sundays! Our walk goes through the halls and through the garden. We stop at a place to paint but I just sit and watch as a few other people around me paint what freedom looks like. One person paints a sunset. One person paints a bob ross tutorial looking thing. One person does a rainbow. The one thing all these people have in common with me is they want to get out of here. I understand that. I hate it here too. 

Lunch is boring. I snuck a nap from the nurse. He’s really stupid for letting me do this. He literally has a clipboard so he should just follow that but if I tell him my old nurse let me do it, he’s like ‘go right ahead’. I make sure to take my time talking with Tsuki. I complain about how stupid this dream is and how Kuro could never get fired. I also complain about this nurse and how he lets me do whatever I want. Then I complain about how much I miss Kuroo. Most of the time, I have him all day. That week that I had him only half was hard enough. Now, I might not have him at all. Tsuki seems to be drawing dinosaurs on his paper. Either that or he has terrible hand writing. Or both. I finish my therapy after almost an hour of talking. My nurse takes me to dinner right after therapy. This sucks because Kuro would’ve waited until everyone had left. That way, I don’t have to worry about people judging what and how I eat. 

After dinner, the nurse puts me down to bed earlier then normal. I don’t even get any video games. “Hey I didn’t ask earlier but what is your name?” The nurse smiles, “You can call me Suga!” I hadn’t seen him smile all day but his smile was almost like Shouyou’s. It was bright enough to light up a room. It almost made me want to smile too. “Thank you for today Suga.” I tell him and he nods, “Also,” Suga’s face then changes and I’m almost frightened, “I know you weren’t supposed to do most of that stuff today and it will never happen again. Understand?” he stands back up quickly and is back to smiling. I gulp and nod, trying to smile back. “Goodnight!” Suga says and lets himself out of the room. I lay back on my bed and close my eyes, praying to god Suga isn’t a real person and I wasn’t just about to pee myself. 

  
  
  
  


**Kuroo’s POV**

  
  


8:30. I open the door and softly whisper for Kenma to wake up. Kenma opens his eyes quickly, looking frightened. When he sees me, he sighs and relaxes. “What was that about?” I ask as he rubs his eyes and sits up. “I had this terrifying nightmare. I was almost scared it was real.” he admits. I smile and resist the urge to laugh, “You mean Suga?” Kenma looks at me and his eyes grow wide. “I fucking hate you.” he says and leaves the room to go shower. I laugh. It wasn’t the reaction I wanted but it will do. I had wanted him to worry that I wasn’t his nurse anymore but nooo he’s more scared Suga is a real person. Suga’s so sweet though. Maybe I didn’t see something yesterday. It doesn’t matter because as soon as Kenma is out of the shower our day starts normally again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“It was Terushima, right?” 

  
  


“Obviously.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	7. ~Birthday~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you tell someone they’ve lost their mom?
> 
> I’ve never actually had to tell someone this before. 
> 
> Especially a patient. 
> 
> I don’t even know how to say it. 
> 
> It might just ruin his birthday. 

  
  
  
  
  


Iwaizumi was the one to receive the call late at night. It was almost midnight when they called. As soon as he got the message, he passed it on to me. I passed it on to the rest of the staff. I was the one who had to tell him though. I was the one that had to break his heart. How do you tell someone they’ve lost their mom? I’ve never actually had to tell someone this before. Especially a patient. I don’t even know how to say it. It might just ruin his birthday. 

  
  
  


Most of the staff got Kenma a present like video games or games they can bring into work. Today, all I have is a picture and the news about his mom. Any other nurse would wait until later to tell him but I know he would want to know right away, birthday or not. And that was the plan. But it’s so hard to tell him. He even looks sorta happy today.

I give him an extra 30 minutes of sleep today. Kenma is like a cat so he usually needs at least 12 hours of sleep, otherwise he’s super crabby. I walk in and open the windows to let the light in. “Goodmorning,” I whisper. Kenma rubs his eyes and yawns as he sits up. He smiles slightly and looks around, “No present?” he asks. I chuckle and shake my head, “Not yet.” He nods and gets out of bed to shower. “Make it quick! The nurses have a special breakfast for you!” I tell him. He smiles and hurries into the shower.

We walk down the halls and he smiles as we go. I’ve never seen him smile this much. It’s like he’s a normal kid again. I need to tell him today. Just, later. We walk into the cafeteria and the nurses all tell him happy birthday. The cooks even made him pancakes and waffles for breakfast. Of course, he still has his pudding because he needs it. He eats quickly and swallows his pills best he can. “Can I have my presents now?” he asks. “Greedy little kitten.” I mutter and nod as we go back to where the other nurses wait for him with presents. He smiles and pretends to kick me to which I do the same back. 

We walk into the room having a little fight in which I’m holding Kenma’s DS above his head where he can’t reach. “Fine, I’ll probably get something better than your old DS anyways.” he huffs and walks ahead of me. I laugh and the other nurses jump out to surprise us. “Happy Birthday Kenma!” people yell. People come across the room to give him new games and spending money on his accounts. He laughs with them as they tease him and we play games until lunch. Kenma seems like he’s having so much fun. I want to smile and play along with them but every time I think of doing so, I remember what I have to tell him. Later, I tell myself.

After lunch, I take Kenma for a walk, hoping to tell him now. Kenma is just so distracting though. He does the stupidest things and makes the funniest jokes. It’s hard to take him seriously. He doesn’t even mean to be funny either. He’s just so rude and mean that it’s funny. “I don’t want to sound rude or anything but you said you got me something and you haven’t given it to me. It’s fine if you forgot or something I was just wondering.” Kenma questions as we walk. I laugh and shake my head, “Trust me, Kenma, I didn’t forget. I will give you your present but not until later tonight. Just you wait, okay?” He nods and shivers. It has started getting colder. October is here and winter is coming. Kenma only has a month and a half to go. Once that is over and Tsuki marks him off, Kenma will be free. He won’t be a patient, he will be a friend. 

“When I get out of here or if I get out of here, will you still talk to me?” Kenma asks. We are almost to his room and he randomly brings this up. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I ask him. “Are we friends?” he rephrases. I laugh and nod, “Of course we are Kenma. I’d say we are best friends.” “That it?” he asks. I stop. I didn’t think he was going to go here. “If that’s what you would like then yes. That is all I will be.” I tell him. “Hm” is all he says. I can feel my heart racing after that last question. I didn’t think he would bring that up. It was something that I tried to forget sometimes. I always thought it would be easier to just be friends. It makes life easier on me. But, it’s not what I want. 

Kenma eats a specially made dinner when we finish our session with Tsuki. I got the notes back and there wasn’t anything that new. The one thing that got me was one note from Kenma. It was Kenma saying he thinks I have a secret. Kenma has always been observant. I noticed that as soon as I met him. He was quiet in school but he could tell what was going on. He can read people like a book. I’m no exception. 

We head back to Kenma’s room just before curfew. “Alright, I can show you your present now.” I tell him. I had sent Yachi to go pick it up for me while we were at dinner. “Wait one second.” I say. I step outside the room to grab the box from Yachi. “She’s a bit jumpy.” Yachi tells me. I nod and open the door, holding the box in my other hand. I step inside keep the box a distance away from Kenma. “Okay, close your eyes.” I tell him. He smiles and closes them. I take the kitten out of the box and place her in Kenma’s lap. “Open them.” Kenma opens his eyes to see the small kitten in his lap. 

His expression is empty. I can’t tell if he’s sad, happy, or mad. He stares at the little kitten as she curls up in his lap. Slowly, he pets her back and she purrs for him. “Do you like her?” I ask. Kenma looks up at me, down at the kitten, and then back at me. “You got me a kitten?” he asks. I nod and smile, “I know you are fond of cats and I heard you never got to have your own so I decided that it’d be perfect!” I tell him. I can see tears in his eyes as he looks at me. “Why?” is all he says. I tilt my head and the tears fall from down his face, “Why are you so nice? I’m such a terrible person. You barely know me too!” Kenma exclaims. I laugh and shake my head, “You aren’t a terrible person, Kenma. You are messed up, we all are, but I don’t care. I know I barely know you but I want to know you.” He smiles and makes grabby hands. I walk over and he pulls me in for a hug. “Thank you.” he whispers. I nod and gulp. I have to tell him now.

I sit back from the hug and sigh. “Kenma. . .” I start but he cuts me off, “If you are going to tell me my mother died, then I don’t care.” he says. My eyes widen and my mouth drops. “You know?” I ask and he laughs, “I’ve been waiting for it to come. She was never going to make it for when I made it out of here.” he tells me. He seems like he doesn’t care but I can hear it. In his voice. A little part of him is hurting. I move back to hug him again, “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be,” Kenma says pushing me off of him, “I already said my goodbyes to her anyways.” I frown and nod. If Kenma says he’s okay or doesn’t want affection I won’t push him. I trust him. “What was wrong with her?” I ask. “Lung Cancer. She and my dad were smokers.” Kenma tells me. “Ah.” I nod and let it go. I’m not really sure how to respond to it really. “Yeah, my dad already died in a crash last year and then when my mom got diagnosed I knew we wouldn’t have too long.” Kenma explains. “I’m sorry.” I tell him. He shrugs, “it’s just life.” 

Kenma turns the subject away by going to his new kitten. “Where will I keep her?” he asks. “I will take care of her until you are out and have a home.” I tell him. He mutters something under his breath but I don’t catch it. “What are you going to name her?” I ask. Kenma frowns. “I’m not sure. What do you think?” he asks. I smirk as a name comes into my head, “Pudding.” Kenma shakes his head and giggles. “Well what do you think?” I ask trying to sound offended. “I have nothing.” Kenma sighs in defeat. “Pudding it is!” I say reaching for the kitten. “Nope! Not until bedtime.” Kenma says, keeping his kitten in his lap. “It was hard enough sneaking her in! Now I have to sneak her out at the time everyone leaves!” I complain. Kenma laughs and I huff. 

The rest of the night goes well until I leave. I leave the room once he’s fallen asleep with Pudding. I get home safely and everything is going good until I get called back in. I get called back in maybe once a month to clean or something like that. Today, Kenma has decided to leave his room at midnight. I drive back quickly and make my way down the halls. I already switched out of work clothes so now I’m wearing my normal hoodie and sweatpants. I walk down the halls and into the garden to find Kenma looking at the stars on a bench. “Kenma. . .” as I get closer I can see the tears in his eyes. “Do you think she is up there watching me?” Kenma asks. I sit down next to him and look up too. “Yeah. I think she is.” I tell him. He smiles and the tears run down his face, “Thanks. I guess, I just wish I could’ve seen her again. I knew I wouldn’t but it still hurts.” Kenma says clenching his shirt. He shivers again and I sigh. He’s always cold but never has a jacket out here. I take off my hoodie and put it over him. “Can we go back to bed?” I ask him. “One more minute.” he asks. I nod and we watch the stars together. 

As we make our way to Kenma’s room, Kenma adjusts my hoodie on him. He gets it fully on and I can see how big it is on him. I can feel the blood rush into my ears as he looks up and smiles, “Thanks for the hoodie.” his voice is so light and soft. I open my mouth but nothing comes out so I just nod. We continue down the hall and when we get to his room, I tuck him in again. “Can I keep the hoodie for a bit?” Kenma asks. He gives me puppy dog eyes and I sigh, “Yeah sure.” He smiles and nestles back into his bed. “Goodnight, Kitten.” “Where did that nickname come from?” Kenma giggles. “Would you rather Pudding?” I ask and he laughs, “Kitten works for now.” I smile and nod. “Goodnight, Kuro.” Kenma whispers as I close the door. Now when I go home, I can finally sleep peacefully. 

###  **Liberosis**

_ n _ . the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	8. ~One Last Time~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After this, everything will be done.
> 
> No more nursing.
> 
> No more therapy sessions.
> 
> Freedom. 
> 
> Home life.
> 
> Medication is okay because he'll finally be home. 
> 
> He's free.

  
  


**1 month left.**

**3 weeks left**

**2 weeks left**

**1 week left**

  
  
  


When the day finally came we had everything planned perfectly. Now there are two things that could happen after Tsukishima’s talk with Kenma today. Kenma could be set free and be gone. No more nurse treatment. No more being looked after. He’ll still have medication and all but he won’t need us anymore. The other thing is Kenma could be signed an at home nurse. I don’t qualify for that job but we have a few nurses that are trained for that. I hope Kenma will be able to go home free but if he needs an at home nurse, I’m not opposed. I don’t think he is either. He’s been so ready to go home after his birthday. He has already made plans for what he’ll do when he’s out. I hope he can go through with them. I hope I can see him after today too. 

When Kenma wakes up, he has a smile on his face. A genuine smile. “Last day!” he says. I smile and ruffle his hair, “Don’t be too happy. I’m losing my favorite patient.” He fixes his hair and grins, “You aren’t losing a patient. You are getting a friend.” he tells me. I smile and push him towards the shower, “Hurry up. We got a breakfast special for you.” 

After Kenma’s shower, we get breakfast. Pancakes, waffles, eggs, and orange juice. Kenma loves orange juice. I don’t know why but he does. He says his favorite food is apple pie though. I made sure to make some for him for dinner tonight. I’m great, I know. Kenma gobbles down the food and swallows his pills like it’s nothing. “Can we walk for a bit?” Kenma asks once he swallows the last pill. I nod and put away his tray before taking him outside. 

We walk around the garden like normal. Nothing is different. We are quiet. There isn’t much to say. “Shouyou was going to sign me out today since I don’t have a guardian.” Kenma tells me. I nod and we stop took look at Kenma’s favorite flowers. Dahlia’s. Their petals start as a red and slowly turn white at the tips. Kenma loves them. He says they remind him of somewhere. He never says where though. Kenma takes extra long today just staring at them. I’m sure he’s daydreaming or imagining something nice. It makes me sad today is the last day with him. Tomorrow I’ll be working with someone new. Maybe even multiple people. I will always like Kenma best though. He truly is something special. 

After lunch, we prepare for Kenma’s talk with Tsukishima. Kenma paces around as we wait and it makes me just as nervous. “Okay! Come here! Sit!” I tell him getting up. I grab his shoulders and place him down on the chair. “Assertive.” Kenma mutters. I ignore it. “Everything is going to be fine. You are going to get out of here and you are going to live your life normally from now on. You are going to have an amazing life and you will get to live out your dreams. You don’t need to worry about this. I already know you will be going home today.” I tell him. He sighs and nods, “Yeah.” I squat down in front of him and hug him. “You are going home today.” I whisper. I can hear silent sobs and a small whisper, “Will you see me when I’m gone?” I pull away from him and smile. “If you are worried about not seeing me ever again, you are wrong. You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll always make time if you want to see me again once you are out.” I tell him. He smiles and pulls me back in for another hug. I hear the door open and Tsukki clears his throat. I let go of Kenma and send him off with Tsukishima. If everything goes well, this should be the last time he meets with Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima says nothing when he lets Kenma out of the room. Hands me no notes. He just sends us off. Kenma looks blank too. He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t look at me. It’s like his soul is gone. He’s empty. We make our way to Kenma’s room and Kenma goes straight to under his covers. I know I should ask or talk or do something but instead, I sit quietly. I can hear the sounds of his games and small sounds of sobs. I don’t do anything though. I’m frozen. So I just wait it out. I let him cry. I let him play his game. I let it go until it’s game over. 

  
  
  


When dinner comes around, Kenma is happy again. Once he comes out from the covers he has a smile on his face. He’s ready. He’s so close. Everyone is waiting for us. Everyone brought something as a goodbye gift for Kenma. I didn’t. I don’t need too. This isn’t really goodbye. Kenma eats his meal happily and smiles with everyone. Even Yachi. I brought out the apple pie soon after he finished and the look on his face said it all. I cut slices for everyone but gave Kenma the biggest slice. “I’m proud of you.” I tell him as I hand him the slice. He turns red and nods, “Me too.” We all eat and finish up the apple pie just before Hinata arrives to check Kenma out. 

“Okay Tsukishima. What do you think?” I ask. We all turn to Tsukishima before we give Hinata the thing to sign. “He can go. Medications of course will be given. Checkups will be scheduled but no nurses needed.” Tsukishima tells us. Everyone cheers and Kenma cries. Kenma is free. No more nursing. No more therapy sessions. Freedom. Home life. Medication is okay because he’ll finally be home. He’s free. Hinata signs him out and everyone cheers as Kenma says his goodbyes. His belongings were already packed up and given to Hinata. The only thing left now is goodbyes. When Kenma makes his way to me, I can feel tears in my eyes. “You’re free.” I tell him and he laughs, “Yeah. I’m free.” We stay quiet. I don’t know what to say. All I can do is watch him. “I’m going to miss you.” Kenma says. I nod and smile, “Yeah me too.” The tears fall down my face and everyone awws as Kenma hugs me. “This isn’t goodbye, remember.” Kenma tells me. I nod and wipe my face, “This is see you later.” I tell him and he nods. His eyes are glossy too. He’s holding back tears too. “See you later.”

Watching Kenma leave the building was harder than I thought it would be. When he leaves, it feels like everything that happened here leaves with him too. I didn't know Kenma long. I didn't know him well. I just knew him as a friend. It wasn't anything more or anything less no matter how much either of us wanted something. We can't expect anything to have come from this. But now that we are just ourselves. . . it can go somewhere. Whether it leads to best friends or more. It can take us anywhere now. We aren't nurse and patient anymore. We are Kuroo and Kenma. We are friends. When he's gone I can't help but smile. Tears fall but I know it's because I'm happy. I'm really happy. Everything and anything could happen now. I don't know what. He can't know either. I just know something will happen. I know we will meet again and soon. We met for a reason. I don't think we are being pulled apart that easily. So for now I can wait. I can deal with a new patient. I can deal with it all. It'll be worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and it's so short. Thanks for reading!


	9. ~~

  
  
  


**2 months later**

  
  
  


**Me**

Kenmaaaaaa

Kenmaaaaaaaaa

Kenmaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Kitten <3**

What the fuck you want

**Me**

Meet me at the gym

  
  
  
  


I stand outside the gym for almost twenty minutes before Kenma arrives. “Day off?” he asks and I nod. We let ourselves inside and find a few other players inside. Some played with me in high school, others are Kenma’s friends. “Let’s play!” I yell. 

My team is me, Kenma, Yaku, Lev, Kai, and Yamamoto. The other team is Kageyama, Hinata, Daichi, Sugawara, Nishinoya, and Asahi. They are pretty evenly matched. The game goes on for a while before our team wins. Our team works well together. Kenma seems to hold us all together. Kenma and I have been practicing a lot together too. Whenever I’m off, I get to play and Kenma sets to me. He’s an amazing setter too. He’s amazing at everything he does. He’s practically perfect. I think he’s perfect. I might be biased though. I don’t care. 

After the game, Kenma and I go out for food. It’s almost like a routine. I feel like I actually know Kenma now. I can’t know everything but I feel like I know everything I should know. It’s different than our relationship used to be. Now it’s just us being us. We can be normal. We can do whatever we want. Be whoever we want. It’s just us now. 

“Can I come over to visit Pudding?” “Shouyou was going to come over.” Kenma says as we make our way home. “Tell him to bring Kageyama. We can all hang out.” I tell him. Kenma nods and pulls out his phone to text Hinata. The first week Kenma was out of the hospital he stayed at Hinata’s house. Hinata and I made money and put it in an account for Kenma to get his own place with. Kenma makes his own money now so we don’t put any more money in the account. Kenma works part time at a few places and has a YouTube channel. He won’t tell me the name but he makes a lot from it so I’m sure it’s big. With how much money he has, Kenma could afford a nicer place. Instead, he keeps the small apartment he currently has. 

When we get to Kenma’s place, there is a car outside. I know for a fact Kenma doesn’t have a car so I know who it is right away. Hinata jumps out the passenger seat and runs to Kenma. “Kenma!” he yells and embraces Kenma. Kageyama steps out of the car after him yelling, “Boke, Hinata, Boke!” Hinata laughs and Kageyama joins him by his side. “Come on! I wanna play games!” Hinata exclaims. Kenma seems excited about that. We all head inside and sit down to watch Kenma and Hinata play games. Kenma wins but every once and a while he’s nice and gives Hinata the win. Pudding makes her way downstairs and sits herself in my lap. She likes me better then Kenma but Kenma won’t admit it. 

As time passes, Hinata and Kageyama have to leave. We wave them off as they head out and watch them drive away. When they are gone, Kenma continues gaming and I head into the kitchen. I’ve been over many times so it’s practically my house too. I open the fridge and grab out the apple pie Kenma had been saving. I cut two pieces and put them onto plates. I bring the plates into the living room and sit down on the couch behind Kenma. “Do you want your apple pie?” I ask. Kenma turns around right away and nods. “Sit on the couch.” I tell him. He moves to the couch and we sit together, eating apple pie. “How late are you staying?” Kenma asks. “How late should I stay?” Kenma pauses and thinks. “However long you want.” he says and continues eating. I nod and bit into mine as well. 

I end up staying the night. It was too late to go home anyways. “Kenma, tomorrows going to be my last day off for a while. Do you want to get coffee?” I ask. Kenma nods in his bed and rolls over. “Okay then. I’m going to sleep on the couch. Goodnight.” I tell him but Kenma grabs my sleeve and tugs me back. “You can sleep up here.” he says, sheepishly. I smile and sit on the side of the bed. “If I’m going to sleep here, you need to make more room.” Kenma moves over and pulls the sheets with him. “You make me sleep here and you won’t even share the covers!” I gasp dramatically. I hear Kenma mumble something as he moves some of the sheets back for me. “Thank you.” I say getting comfortable next to him. Kenma mumbles again and soon he’s drifting off. I lay away thinking before Kenma moves over closer to me. I turn towards him and watch as he sleeps. I put an arm around him and then close my eyes as well to drift off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
